(WARNING) This is a very inflammatory piece. It will offend some.
Too fucking bad, because you have to read it. Enjoy bitches.
People are a product of their environment. That has been the truth from my experience working in the restaurant business. I’ve waited tables for a long time but just recently I have realized that I have become more judgmental than ever before. I use stereotypes and racial remarks as if they were acceptable adjectives in life. I am not a racist. I am a waiter.
If you have ever waited tables there has been a time when you prejudged the people sitting in your section. It doesn’t affect your service to them until they give you a cue that they won’t tip.
“Is there free refills”? Sour cream is an extra fifty cents? Does it cost me to have water? Do you take EBT? All cues that your guest is a bad tipper and a broke/cheap son of a bitch. I’m not being judgmental. If you want sour cream, but you are unwilling to pay an additional fifty cents then you are a broke/cheap son of a bitch. That’s a fact.
I’m not racist but colored people don’t tip. You don’t. You may tip, but your people don’t. Talk to your people. Asians may be the exception. The better your English the better the tip. Americanized second generation Asians typically know how to tip. Broken English Asians are like foreigners of all races, bad tippers. I don’t know if they are bad tippers because they want to be or because they don’t understand, but either way they need to get it together.
Arab people have a decent tipping average. Good job. You should tip well considering how much your charging us for gas. And 9-11.
Women typically tip more than men. Maybe it’s a domestic thing. They can relate to my job and the lack appreciation I receive for doing it. Taking food to a table with a smile is one of the hardest jobs in the world. First I have to pick up the food, walk about 5 yards and drop it off. Tough work. Getting napkins and refills don’t get me started. I don’t know how housewives can do it. To me it’s impossible. They don’t even have busboys, or a kitchen staff or a slave, excuse me I mean a dishwasher. Most dishwashers are ex-convicts or illegals so screw them. Let them clean the vomit from the floor and the diarrhea on the walls.
Let’s go back to more racism. Black people don’t tip. They call each other nigga’s for a reason, because they don’t know better. They especially don’t know how to tip. When I get a good tip from a black person I surmise to what they do for a living. They must have a good job, degree or work in the restaurant business. That’s it. At the very bottom of the tipping hierarchy, no surprise, Hasidic Jews. They don’t tip. If I see a Yamaka and curls I’m giving you bad service. They say Jesus was a Jew. If I ever find out he didn’t tip I swear to God I will worship another religion. Maybe Buddhism because I know that bill will be high. Or maybe the Greek gods because that automatic gratuity.
White people congratulations once again you are at the top of the totem pole. You are the best tippers. Not all of you tip, but as a people you are represented well. When I see white people in my section I become the perfect house Negro; dedicated to serving every request hoping that they’ll get comfortable enough to hand me there credit card.
(Side note; if you have an American Express card and you don’t tip then you are cheap; because only people with their shit together have American Express cards.)
I’m not racist. I’m a waiter. Judge me if you want, because I am certainly going to judge you and your people. At my job they call me the Mexican, and I feel proud every time I hear it. It means I’m hard working and willing to work when ever and where ever. I’ve got a deep respect for Mexicans now because that’s my nickname; until they sit in my section.
I’m glad you were able to get this off your chest. It seems from what’s written in this piece that you’ve had pent up animosity towards both your job and the people you service. It’s understandable. I’ve been a waitress and believe me I know exactly what you are feeling. That being said, I could appreciate a criticism piece on how people are molded by they’re surroundings but unfortunately this read more like a rant. You make some valid points, not back by any evidence, but you do point out agreeable arguments that could work if you provided the reader with something to show back up what you wrote.
For those who are or have been in your situation, the piece is quite relatable, but for the reader that has never been a waiter/waitress, your piece comes off very standoffish and crude. You don’t want to turn off the reader like this. You have a good topic here, but work on writing in a more cohesive and intellectual way. This way, you can express the exact sentiments you wrote here but in a manner that gives you not only credibility but also shows the reader that your more then just some nut ranting about waiting tables. You’re a good writer and I know you could find a way to fix this piece. I’m not going to lie, it was extremely entertaining and at times funny, but it’s not at the level of sophistication that we are working towards.
Man, you are rough. I have to say though, as far as reads go, this was pretty entertaining. It was offensive, and I had parts I could argue with but that’s really what kept me going. I feel like this is one of those movies where the person who was just blatant and truthful succeeds by virtue of not giving a shit. That’s you writing this piece.
It’s hard not to judge people a certain way when you’ve had experiences with them as a whole, but I think you should mention that not all of them are the same. I know Jews that tip incredibly well and have done a lot for me. I’ve had family (We are part asian) say “And you don’t have to tip them a lot cause they don’t know better” about Asians. I tip decent wherever I go as long as my service is good, and even if it’s not great, but not terrible, I tip at least 15 percent. People have to make a living.
I was laughing towards the end. This one is a shocker and I like it.
Daniel: Have you already posted your second workshop piece? I see a few posts on the blog, but I’m not sure which one it is, or whether it’s none of them.
My insides were all in shambles…and yet you pieced them all back together in the end with your humor. Good job with the voice; I think it holds a good balance between gtfo-total-douchebag and comical-when -angry.
(Not sure if you know, but foreigners typically don’t tip in their home countries, so they won’t know the policy here. My dad left a tip in a dim sum restaurant in Sydney and they were straight kissing his shoes in gratitude. OK, not really, but they were genuinely surprised, and grateful.)
So, that 9-11 comment. That’s gonna cut deep. But looking at the rest of your piece, your narrator having referred to people as “slaves” and “illegals,” I feel like the offensive tone was very purposely done. Might I dare to call you an asshole? Yes, you were an asshole, but I think if you’re gonna be an asshole, be a full-out asshole. The narrator was too wishy-washy to be enough of an asshole in this piece. Don’t apologize, e.g. “I’m not being judgmental.” NO. BE JUDGMENTAL.
By the way, Jesus and that Caesar’s tax? No worries. He would’ve tipped.
I also suggest a title change—possibly a title with a crass word included? Definitely add more. More observations, maybe a few scenes, walk us through a day at work, make some more assumptions—include some common misconceptions and stereotypes, blow it up? Just ideas. Good start, but I want you to make me angry (and still almost agree).
This piece was surely entertaining on so many levels but at the same it gave readers like me who has never really worked as a waitress some insight knowledge. Personally I am very big on customer service, if my waiter/waitress is terrible or screws up my order, there is no chance in hell I will tip. I think you could improve this piece by adding a scene where the narrator actually shows for the reader the every day steps the waiter undergoes to ensure that their guest receives great service. From the tone and the facts you provided in this piece, I wasn’t entirely convinced that the narrator is doing their part.
This is such a deviation from your first piece; I love it. Not to say that your first piece was bad, I found that one great too. I really like the flexibility you’ve shown here as an author. The voice in this piece is much more aggressive and frankly, pretty much an asshole. But a very entertaining asshole.
Watch out for using the correct form of “their.” I liked how edgy and how much of a smart ass the narrator is. Reading it a second time, I saw how you were sure to include that “people are a product of their environment” and that you “have become more judgmental than ever before;” these are important details to include because it establishes that the narrator was not always a jackass and instead shows us how someone working in that type of fast paced, stressful, under paid and under appreciated industry can become jaded after working in it too long. With these details, I perceive the piece more a criticism of the work environment rather than an overt racist/sexist/bigoted hate essay. Although I do read some genuine venting coming out there too. Ok, enough tips for you Cali.
The beginning of the piece was indeed offensive; however, the readers were warned. The reader is examining things outside of the box and categorizes people when the writer states, “People are a product of their environment.” I felt like the reader had problems which needed to get off of her chest as well. I read the piece with a steady tempo. The author examines the behaviors and the races of each type of tipper. I didn’t understand this line “You should tip well considering how much your charging us for gas. And 9-11.” What do you mean by 9-11? Can you clarify this in your piece? You stated that you were not racist in the first paragraph but then in the 5th paragraph you state, “Let’s go back to more racism.” This is contradictory. I can relate to this piece, I worked as a waiter for 1 day and all I was hoping for was tips and the customers knew this. I always wanted every customer to tip me as well. What I am wondering is does the writer tip as well when the writer goes into a restaurant? Over all it was a good piece, I wasn’t expecting something like this.
Wow. This is quite a touchy subject and I think you did a great job of discussing it. The repetition of the phrase “I’m not a racist but a waiter” did it completely for me. As a black person who eats out quite a lot, I cannot say that I’m offended or even the fact that I’m in a disagreement with any of it, because, unfortunately it is true.
The disclaimer at the beginning served as a great opener in that I knew what was to come was a great rant. The word racism is used smartly used in this piece. As intellects we all know the definition of racism. But here, you only used the word “racist” to express the prejudgement you have before you go to a table.
In addition, you use race as well as socio-economic possessions (AMEX cards) to also judge the table.
Structurally, there are some paragraphs that might serve the reader better in a different order. Also, maybe the name of the restaurant you work at might serve better for the piece. Maybe… I guess if it in a ghetto or low-economically stable neighborhood we might understand better? Of course– maybe..
AHAHAHAHAHAHA. WOOOOOOOO.
KEREL I LOVED YOUR PIECE.
Being a waiter is hard work, I feel you man, even though I’ve never been one.
The piece is bold and cemented with honesty and contempt and I love it.
The author thinks of this piece as a means of ventilation against the world and particularly his job.
He wants to instill in his readers his fiery anger. Great piece.
Congratulations you almost offended every minority. The piece was well written, however, there were some misleading details about specific minority groups; for example, the line about the Arabs being responsible for 9/11 was false. Therefore, this trivial mistake discredits the author’s authority over the entire piece. The line that states: “I’m not a racist. I’m a waiter” was ingenious. It concealed the writer’s personality and took on the characteristics of a refrain in a piece of music. Also, that line served the literary frame of the piece , which is always a technique that ornaments any piece of writing. The voice of the narrator was humorous, however, I thought the use of profanity was not needed.
I felt that the story did not have any underlining theme because the details about each minority group confused the reader. I would suggest that the narrator use a few examples and explore them further. I was confused that the main character wanted a tip because he worked at a place that sounded like a Burger King or Wendys. I would have liked to see the piece explore the history of “tips” to show that the narrator knows more about this tradition. The American Express card side note didn’t work in this piece. Maybe you might want to do some research about the “American Express Black Card.”
Waiting on judgment
Your piece was intriguing; I was confused if you meant all of what you wrote on the piece. The voice of the narrator seems to be frustrated about people. I was not sure to believe if the character was sincere or mocking people. I would like to know what are you trying to portray if you are mocking a waiters job. Or are you sincere about the people you are describing. Are generalizing people by their race? I would like to have a clear understanding of this.
Working in customer service, I understand the stereotypes that one develops in that environment. I understand that point of your criticism was based on your personal experiences as a waiter but as the reader I didn’t feel you were credible. Your piece was offensive and I thought you could have gone about this topic in a different manner because it is an interesting one. Many people who haven’t worked in customer service don’t really understand the stigma put on them by customers. Many people fail to realize that waiters rely on tips for their livelihood. It would’ve been nice if you would’ve included that and the prejudgments customers have on you. “Arab people have a decent tipping average. Good job. You should tip well considering how much your charging us for gas. And 9-11.”- Completely unnecessary. However, because this is based on your opinion, this needs to be developed more since you mentioned it.
I like your attitude and voice in this piece. I don’t feel you are a racist, but rather someone who is real and outspoken. And when I say outspoken, I mean that you stand up for what you feel is right. I like how you ended your piece about your Mexican nickname and appreciating Mexican people until they are sitting in your section. How come you do not choose to work at a predominately white restaurant? Maybe try something upscale? Has there been a specific situation that has turned you off to the “no tipping colored cheap skates?” more or less of course. Perhaps you could develop a scene to show your frustration with colored guest. Great piece
I do not like the warning this paper begins with. I think that the writer has a stereotypical look at people. A person should not be judged by how much money he/she has. The author should express why he feels as he does. I would like to know more about why he is called the mexican and how that makes him feel.
I early enjoyed reading this piece. I really like how you began your piece “(WARNING) This is a very inflammatory piece. It will offend some.”
To some this piece may be offensive but to me it wasn’t. I really like the repetition of the “’Im not a racist. I’m a waiter” because it made it very clear that you were being a racist. I was a bit confused when you began to speak about the AMEX cards. I really didn’t know how they worked maybe explaining them before you go into it would work better. other than that i believe your piece was really well written.
The first thing I examined was your title. You named it “Waiting on Judgement by Cali Cain”. The title was appropriate because you explain that you judge every racial group that comes to your section. i was also wondering why you call yourself Cali Cain? Is that your writer’s name?
The piece seemed to have a sarcastic tone that worked really well for the piece. When writing a judgmental piece like this one, a sarcastic tone works because it removes negative tension. The piece was very stereotypical -which worked. Everyone is aware that stereotypes exist, and that they influence our actions. However there are a few things that I thought didn’t work.
1) The joke about 9/11 seems to be inaccurate, and therefore offensive. I don’t believe it works for your piece.
2) The comment about Black people calling each other “niggas” because they don’t know any better seems irrelevant and also inaccurate. Before I explain why, I really need to defend myself by saying that I don’t disagree because I am Black because if that were the case I would disagree with every piece of negative information about Blacks and tipping. I am also not disagreeing because I use the word.
-This piece was about a narrator’s experience as a waiter in relation to HIS service and the tips HE receives. The entire piece was focused around the behavior/mannerisms of difference races or groups of people in relation to his service. This is why I believe that the comment came out left field and is totally irrelevant – and increasingly racist/ judgmental. (Although I CARE less that it’s racist – and more that it is inaccurate because there are obviously other statements in this piece that are arguably racist) When making a statement about a group of people in correlation to them being ignorant – PLEASE DO THE RESEARCH. Aside from the historical value the word has – which is why it is considered ignorant when Blacks use the word – you have to consider environmental influences. If a child grows up in a neighborhood where that word has an entirely different meaning – one of kinship and family, then I don’t think you can truly call the user of this word ignorant. I really don’t think it’s fair to call everyone who uses this word ignorant. I think it’s to broad of a generalization to make about such a sensitive topic.
I actually don’t care that the voice of the narrator is presented as racist. I don’t think it’s fair to judge the entire piece through that lens because then if we don’t agree with his statements, we won’t enjoy or understand the purpose of the piece. The purpose of the piece was not to discuss stereotypes – it was how the narrator judges his customers as a waiter.
I’m not sure of what the actual message was for this piece. I know the narrator wants us to know about his interactions as a waiter, but I feel he needs to drive whatever point he wants to make home. I think he wants to create a guide – or sort of a review on who tips and who doesn’t, and who behaves one way and who behaves the other. However I feel as if your goal could have been made clearer.
Overall, I actually liked the piece. The narrative voice was very strong, and it really worked. Also, I liked the topic because it was very dangerous and you still managed to do it – and you managed to do it well. My advice to you would be to avoid negative, racist and false statements when talking about race. It could cause you’re reader to become totally disconnected to your piece. Great piece!
I thought this was a very well written piece and I enjoyed it very much. I liked the introduction about how people are a product of their environment and for you to be a waiter, that further proves that you have a very observational eye.
The examples that you have given were funny and almost most of the time, are true.
I did not find the piece offensive at all, but I definitely would have liked a call out to hispanics, because they too tend to have certain stereotypes attached to them. The only instance in which I felt was not necessary was about Arab people and 9/11. Just the 9/11 part seemed to be a little too much for me.
Overall, great job, good examples and very much relatable.
“Arab people have a decent tipping average. Good job. You should tip well considering how much your charging us for gas. And 9-11.”
that line was just ignorant.
the reasons why comedians get away with racism is their wit. In this piece you have none. Its just a blatant statement after another based on stereotypes that every else already goes by ( you know its true) and it comes off as you trying a little too hard to be edgy taking on a taboo like racism (oohhhhh)
then how u describe how to describe waitering sarcastically threw me off and made me question your piece entirely. the last sentence also through me off.
I thought the piece was hilarious. Not only was it daring, but for the most part, despite how harsh the stereotypes seemed to be, you still had some of my sympathy. The only reason why this was acceptable was because of the line “I’m a waiter.” That’s the only reason why, but that’s enough, I believe. The point is not that these are things you necessarily believe, but that based on what you’ve witnessed in your job, some stereotypes just fit in perfectly with those assumptions. I do think that the Arab quote was out of line because every other stereotype was based off your experience as a waiter, all except for that one (gass/9-11), which is why it’s unacceptable. You can have your opinions, but even your opinions have to be backed up / protected under the ‘witnessed as a waiter’ argument for them to be tolerable.
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