Primary Objective
When an individual fasts he/she refrains from consuming any sorts of foods and/or drinks for a period of time, about 16 hours. Hunger is the greatest obstruction for a Saa’em (Arabic for, a person who fasts). When an individual overcomes his/her hunger he/she promotes a greater discipline for themselves. Hunger is a powerful tool, it is utilized by protestors to arouse guilt in others and it is exercised by religious populations in return for God’s love.
There were 6 seats total at the 6 person rectangle dinner table and all except 1 was occupied. The quiet atmosphere at the dinner table portrayed the unhappy faces of each person. I was fortunate to see that the best seat at the dinner table was unoccupied; therefore, I claimed the middle seat. The middle seat was a quiet space which allowed a cross-table diagonal conversation. Observing the dinner table, the entertainment laid on what was on the table itself and not the seats. In the middle of the table was an oven roasted chicken and around the chicken laid an abundance of food. The table was similar to a traditional Thanksgiving dinner table but without the turkey. A loud malicious growl! Noise aroused and was heard by the other members of the dinner table. The noise became unbearable, the growl noise continued to repeat in a pattern just like an ostinato in music.
Every time the growl noise evoked a burning sensation befell. The burning was produced by the Hydrochloric acid hitting the stomach wall in a fierce manner just like fierce waves hitting the shore. It was obvious that the acid was looking for a prey. Every time the acid hit the stomach wall, the growl noise echoed to the esophagus in which the noise became louder and more painful. No one at the dinner table was disturbed by the unbearable noises because they too had the same issue and were focused on something much more important, the clock. Tick tock, as 1 minute passed, one person stood up from the dinner table and shouted, “Everyone the time has come to break our fast! The 1st day of Ramadan is fulfilled.” The person who shouted quickly sat down then swiftly began stuffing his face on the food on his plate. He ate so fast that he looked like he would eventually choke.
The man continued to eat so fast and so much that he demonstrated that his fast was valid, even though no one asked him to validate it. No one spoke at the dinner table; the people all seemed like strangers even though they were close family members. All that could be heard was munching noises. The growling noises dissolved as the food entered their empty stomachs. The people at the dinner table became full within a matter of 5 minutes. They seemed awkward about how a person can become full within 5 minutes after not eating for 16 hours. They enjoyed their time by drinking tea and conversing with each other. One traditional individual looked at me and stated, “Hey, do you know the story of the Turkish tea?” I looked at him and replied, “Not really, I just like to drink it everyday.” He scrunched his eyebrows together and asked, “You drink the tea everyday but you don’t know its importance?” I felt my cheeks getting hotter and hotter, I replied, “Please explain.” He stated, “The teacup is the household, the tea leaves are the parents and the liquid of the tea is love. The sugars are the children, when you mix the elements you get a good taste of peace, which every men desire.” The man revealed to me that everything has a meaning in life. After he finished explaining the story of the tea, an old man with a hunch over from years of gravity pushing down on his spine interrupted him and carried him into a conversation about his time in the military in which the wise man turned to him and listened carefully, removing me from their space.
There was a positive atmosphere at the dinner table; everybody felt relieved after getting their most important desire to be fulfilled, the desire of eating food. Each person understood the importance of discipline and the importance of food. The people at the dinner table spoke highly about giving food to the poor as they felt in their position for a moment of time. Ramadan is the month of observance. Muslims who fast during the month of Ramadan not only become closer to Allah but, also become more aware of their environment. The people at the dinner table were blessed to have food in front of them as it was a type of luxury for them for a moment. The house became like a teacup filled with tea, everybody was at peace until sunrise.
Your knowledge of Ramadan is provided as evidence when you mention Saa’em (a person who fast) that sentence gives you creditability at the onset and sets up the rest of the story for the reader.
This line I enjoyed the most was describing that a man ate so fast as if to validate that he actually fast, it was a good illustration and a subtextual commentary on how some people claim to fast but break some of its rules.
The story about the tea is a great story about family that transcends to other cultures, but I enjoyed it as a set up to the ending; that at these religious moments we are more of a family than any other moment.
Personally the story reminded me of a funeral, because i am not religious and the gathering of family for a common goal is something in my life that is usually only happens at a funeral; because it’s all about the individual that dies as opposed to holidays where people feel the need to air their family grievances.
A man being hunched over from years of gravity is a great description for old age.
I enjoyed the story and my take away is having religious celebrations for the sacrifice of self for the betterment of family. Plus I learned my first Ramadan word.
I really enjoyed how the piece began by describing the many uses of fasting by protestors and individuals who believe in God because it shows that the narrator is open-minded in regards to the secular and the sacred culture. The narrator is revealed to the reader as a trustworthy and well-informed source because the entire story meticulously describes the moment when the main character describes his Muslim tradition and when he interacts with the “traditional individual.” I appreciated how the writer uses proper grammar, punctuation to emphasize certain moments within the piece.
I would suggest the narrator “kill one of his darlings.” For instance, in paragraph three, the narrator talks about the stomach making noises, then he says“…just like a fierce wave….” Here the reader is forced to stop and reanalyze the line because the water reference throws off the reader because the next line talks about “…acid looking for its prey….” I would also like to see the piece extended because the line about the tradition of drinking tea is a novelty line that could be the theme of the piece, but it is introduced to the ending of the piece too soon. So I would suggest that the narrator read the book, The Bastard from Istanbul to learn how to employ this technique in his piece. Plus it is a good read that talks about Turkish culture. I would also like to see the narrator describe the different types of foods because it would grab the reader’s attention and also teach the reader about different types of Turkish foods.
I liked the Saa’em reference. As others said, it validates the author’s story. It also makes the reader feel more cultured so it was nice to include it.
There are several great lines here. I liked the lines about acid splashing around our insides- that’s one of those things that happen every moment of everyday but when you stop and think about it it freaks you out. I like the old man hunched from fighting gravity and the I especially liked the lines from when I folks finally got to eat and gorged themselves so heavily they got full in 5 minutes.
You wrote a story about people eating at a table, literally that is all that occurs, yet for the several paragraphs of its length I never got bored, I actually appreciated the insight it gives on fasting and this story is well written
I think I was confused going into the second paragraph because you started off in a different verb tense with the first paragraph and didn’t really have a transition or introduction for the scene that follows. Also, were they really ALL unhappy, of the people seated at the dinner table? That’s really curious. You can elaborate on people’s expressions here. Where you talk about being fortunate to have the middle seat, expand on what cross-table diagonal conversations the narrator had expected to dive in and out of. Technically, an oven-roasted chicken is food, so you can’t really label what laid around it simply as “food.” It’s either “growling noise” or just the “growl” without the noise; it’s awkward to term it as “growl noise.” However, I think “growl noise” would work had the narrator been a young child, but the reader doesn’t get any sense of age, so I don’t think this was a good move. I see that you made this change two paragraphs down, i.e. “growling noises dissolved.” What’s the distinction between “growl noise” and “growling noises” that you are making in your piece? I also think it gets confusing about the noise because you didn’t start off really clarifying whom the noises came from, and suddenly everyone was having the same issue with the noises? A reader can assume that they first came from the narrator, but even that sentence should have been clearer, better with a subject. I think you should have explained what Ramadan was in the beginning of the piece, and not the end. I like how you used the teacup analogy to close it. Good job, but definitely expand.
As the others stated, I can tell you’re quite credible when it comes to the topic of Ramadan. I really loved the way you played the word “growl” as a symbol of universal hunger throughout the room. In a way your piece showed that all the individuals at the table were only focused on time rather than the meaning of Ramadan. If that’s false, maybe it should be indicated.
Structurally, I think the detailed definition of Ramadan at the end, should be at the beginning…maybe to show the reader what’s to come? Also, you have a few run on sentences–nothing difficult to understand.
Other than that, great piece, it gave a really good perspective on Ramadan (in general) vs. the invdividual practicing it (specifically).
Nice ending. People seem to have that down pretty well in this class. The little anecdote about the turkish tea is nice too. Do you know if that originates from the Seljuqs?
How do you feel about the importance of the fast? Do you believe in any of the significance of the traditions or the tea story told? You mention that the fast imposes a sort of discipline but the man who sat down to eat did not show any discipline at the table. Was this intentional?
This was a very good story. I think that it takes great perseverance and resilience to go through the fasting tradition. Respect to Islam.
I enjoyed learning about what a Saa’em is and the significance of fasting during Ramadan. I think you should’ve included the sentences about what Ramadan is and it’s importance to muslims somewhere in the beginning as oppose to disclosing that in your concluding paragraph. I did enjoy the description of the what the importance of drinking tea is in your Turkish culture and how you brought it full circle in the last couple sentences of your piece. I think the correlation between your religion and culture could have been executed better. I wish you would’ve included names or relationship details when referring to the people who were sitting at the table because that aspect of your piece seemed really impersonal. There some grammatical errors. Otherwise good draft.
I had to read this piece a couple of times just so I could get a more clearer understanding. I think your piece is pretty enriching with knowledge of fasting during Ramadan. I really liked the part where you explain the growling noise felt before breaking the fast.”Every time the growl noise evoked a burning sensation befell. The burning was produced by the Hydrochloric acid hitting the stomach wall in a fierce manner just like fierce waves hitting the shore.” I felt like I could relate to the piece mostly to this mentioned part. We all kind of know how it feels like to be super hungry but are sometimes held back from eating due to some circumstances. This part helped me understand to some extend how it feels like to fast. I think you could improve this piece by adding metaphors so the reader could relate to what the character in this piece feels in terms of fasting. I myself aren’t that religious so by adding more descriptions would make this piece better. I would also liked to have seen more of the characters relationship to Islam, what exactly makes them want to fast?
I enjoyed reading your piece. You demonstrate evidence of knowledge of the topic you are talking about. The evidence you demonstrate in the piece proofs you reliability. I was able to understand the reason of fasting. I would like to know how fasting affects the main character other than experiencing fasting with hi family. Does he change after each fasting or does he feel the same. Adding this information will make your piece stronger. Good job.
The author does a good job in displaying how the tradition of fasting affects the individual. I think the author wrote this piece because it is something very near and dear to him. The author wants the reader to perceive fasting in depth with his “growl” noises coming from the stomach and the moral that one must earn his share of peace in the world.
great story
the discriptions you make are sometimes confusing, since you use several schemes of description its gets hard to understand. although i can feel the closeness of the family, i believe theres alot to be told about tradition, and you beliefs and your views on religion
Great piece. I enjoyed learning about the meaning of Ramadan and how family comes together in a cultural gathering. The voice of the narrator depicted the dinner table scene right before my eyes. Is there a difference in Ramadan for Turkish individuals compared to other individuals of a different nationality who practice Islamic faith? What are the exceptions for Ramadan? If a person is sick or pregnant? I was told that after Ramadan is over, some people continue to fast for some reason; is there any knowledge you could include about this point? Good job!
Great dinner scene details and story about the Turkish tea.
The writer does not make eating appealing. I would like to know why the writer follows Ramadan. I would like to know why others he knows follow Ramadan. I would like to know why everybody is so unhappy. I would like to know why everyone was so happy after they ate.
Do you yourself fast? Do you find it important? If so how?
I found this piece to be very interesting. I like how you use “Saa’em” in Arabic in the beginning of your piece and then explained the significance and meaning behind it. I really enjoyed learning about Ramadan but I would like to know more about it and why do you follow Ramadan.
The immediate explanation of what fasting is showcased what this piece was about, right off the bat. The description of the dinner table felt very realistic and the adjectives were well used. The story felt self contained and it did not need anything else to be said about it. A little more information of the people that gathered around the table would have been nice.
I believe the goal of this piece was to show that fasting somehow has a higher meaning than it does, but that point failed when the line “swiftly began stuffing his face on the food on his plate” describes everyone, quite savagely, going at it at dinner right after the first day of Ramadan. That wasn’t a good example to show if the goal was to explain the higher meaning of Ramadan. That part wasn’t about the respect it gave its believers, it was about how empty the whole tradition was because no one could contain themselves. Everyone simply refrained for the sake of tradition, not because of the ‘disciple’ gained. I think that this essay is actually strong to the opposing view you were trying to convey and perhaps if you decided to go in that direction, you’d be able to offer more interesting commentary as a believer of the tradition.
Your piece describes a very important tradition, and I wanted to know more about it on a personal level. When you describe the scene at the dinner table, you place yourself in it, by stating that you took the middle seat, but then fade into generalizations by saying “one man” stood up and said let’s eat! I was confused about this removed nature, and I wanted you to describe your feelings at the dinner table. I wanted you to describe the hydraulic acid in your stomach, instead of describing it in a general nature. I think this personal experience, will add the missing piece to your memoir. At the end you state:
The people at the dinner table were blessed to have food in front of them as it was a type of luxury for them for a moment. The house became like a teacup filled with tea, everybody was at peace until sunrise.
This was a lovely revelation, and conclusion. However, I would love for you to make this conclusion personal. I would love for you to describe your family’s personal experience/ journey with fasting!
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