What is behaviorism and why do we study it? Behaviorism is the belief that humans learn through observing and experimentation. It is the idea that all human events and reaction are described by circumstances and controlled by discipline or a prize without free will. There are two ways in which behaviorism can unfold: Classical Conditioning and Operant Conditioning.
Classical Conditioning is when the conditioned stimulus makes a second stimulus respond towards a specific behavior. For example, John Watson and Rayner conducted an experiment with a boy named Albert. In his experiment he paired a white rat with a loud noise that was made with a hammer. Watson conditioned Albert to fear the rat, so every time he hears the noise now he becomes frightened. Operant conditioning is the understanding of the procedure where the effect of the outcomes comes after a response and it decides if the behavior will be repeated or not. For example, if a child gets good grades and his mom/dad buys them a pair of shoes, the child will keep on getting good grades in order to get more shoes. This example can also be known as positive reinforcement. One of the differences between classical and operant conditioning is that it focuses on the behavior. Whether is involuntary or voluntary. Classical conditioning requires making an alliance between an involuntary response and a stimulus, while operant conditioning is about making an alliance between a voluntary behavior and its effect. In operant conditioning, the learner is rewarded with incentives, while classical conditioning involves no such enticements. In addition, classical conditioning focuses on the involuntary part of the learner and gets automatic behaviors, while operant conditioning requires the learner to contribute and conduct some type of action in order to be rewarded or punished.
Working at a daycare most children enrolled tend to behave based on rewards and punishments rather than trying to avoid fear. In other words, the children don’t behave based on classical conditioning; children behave based on operant conditioning. For example, if it is cold outside and the children choose not to wear their coat the parents simply punish them. Parents take away their favorite toy in exchange for cooperation to the orders from the parent. If the child listens to the parent’s orders, the parent usually would give their child a candy or satisfying comments that make the child feel happy. Next time when the children cooperate, they expect the toy or the good comments from the parent, which then eliminates the bad behavior for a long period of time. On the other hand, classical conditioning does not allow the same behavior to work as operant does. With classical conditioning, kids change their behaviors because they’re trying to avoid a fear. To me that is not a good way to teach children how to behave because their fear sensitivity decreases as they get older. Another disadvantage that classical conditioning has is that it doesn’t focus on learning. Classical conditioning makes an effort on instilling a temporary learning process. As for operant conditioning, the focus is toward long-term learning.
A child’s personality and trait depends on how their parents react to their behavior. Parents should take varying measures in different situations. Every so often, it is necessary to reward children and encourage them, and in other situations, parents should choose to be strict and punish them as well. Classical conditioning does not do this and even adults like to be rewarded and compensated for our actions. To motivate children to behave well, it is crucial to praise and inspire them to do this kind of activity more often. Therefore I believe that although both classical conditioning and operant conditioning are good when correlated with child behavior, operant works better.
You sound well informed about the topic of behaviorism, but since this is a topic within the realm of science, your argument that operant conditioning works better than classical conditioning would be much more supported and believable if you were to include some accredited medical studies; there have to be some university studies on the matter. While it does make sense, some of your argument comes across a conjecture- I’m not disputing it in any way, in fact I agree with your argument, just would like some more research and sources for you piece. Any case studies where the two models were used on children and one model showed a distinct advantage would be excellent.
The jump to you working in day care felt awkward to me; at first the essay was just informational but than we suddenly got a subjective perspective from the author about her experience/view points working at a day care. Working at the day care is a good inclusion to this piece and adds credibility to the author, but the transition can be done more gracefully.
This piece of creative writing was very informative and left the reader feeling more knowledgeable about behaviorism, which is a great literary technique. The opening interrogative statement was a brilliant technique to capture the readers attention. I thought that the narrator described the terminology well and used two great examples to illustrate the definitions of the terms, but maybe they could have used more examples. The voice of the narrator is mostly passive, which is the standard for essays about the sciences, which would work well in the piece, however, the narrator includes their own voice in the piece so it took away from this standard style. I would suggest the narrator explain their opinion by not using lines like, “To me that is not a….,” but instead use credible research to convey why operant conditioning is superior to classical conditioning.
The form of the piece is very traditional of a scientific piece, but I would suggest that the writer give the reader a real life situation with adults instead of children. For instance, the writer can illustrate a situation between two adults, then they can use the topic of behaviorism to explain why these characters react differently because of their childhood conditioning. Also, I think the transition from the third paragraph to the penultimate paragraph threw the reader off, so I would suggest a smoother transition.
You start off your piece with a technical definition and continues and opens up into sub categories, I learned a lot about the major terms you utilized. I noticed you included some examples on your topic; however, I was in search for statistics or outside sources for your arguments. You can also add to your piece on how Behaviorism can be contrasted with philosophy of the mind. Does culture have any relations to Behaviorism? Some of these topics can be included in your piece. “Working at a daycare most children enrolled tend to behave based on rewards and punishments rather than trying to avoid fear.” When you say “working” are you implying that you work there or are you talking about general day cares? “A child’s personality and trait depends on how their parents react to their behavior” Can a child’s personality and trait depend on their culture as well? These are some questions to ask yourself. I like your piece it is very informative.
I feel like you could’ve done another angle on this to make it more original and creative. I’m not sure it was prose writing. It read more like a student writing a research paper without any sources.
I second Orhan’s point about your sentence “Working at a daycare most children enrolled tend to behave based on rewards and punishments rather than trying to avoid fear.” It’s confusing who you’re talking about because there is no subject. Who is working at a daycare? You as the narrator or general daycare workers? If it is you, however, this can be a great way for you to expound on personal experiences having worked at a daycare in order to link such experiences back to your argument at hand in this piece.
I was definitely thrown off at this line where you introduce working at a daycare for more than just a lack of subject. Yes, there was also a lack of a smooth transition, but I also went into this piece expecting that it be more of an informative piece. I think it was a combination of your title and your introduction. I do suggest changing the title; it’s too broad to contribute anything to the piece. I also believe that this required more originality because there are many people with more credentials who have shared their opinions about which type of conditioning works best for children. Not only can you have the narrator discussing her perspective as a daycare worker, if this is the case, but you can also introduce the daycare children first, and then go into the information about behaviorism so that it backs up your point. Just an idea.
you make a sound argument for choosing operating conditioning over classical. i would like more examples for the effects of both but the examples you gave give a concise meaning to a concise argumentative essay. i do wonder about the legality of experimenting with the fear of a child but thats not important. the perspective you bring about working at a day care center makes your argument credible. i would like more details about the difference between involuntary response versus voluntary response and the effect it has on people. from a scientific perspective does either of them matter as long as they get the desire result? you claim that involuntary response don’t last long but why? positive reinforcement, i agree, is a better option but evidence of it being more successful is needed. this piece needs a little more to clearly separate the two and to prop up operating conditioning as superior
Nicely written piece. You gave readers insight about behavior patterens and developments that they probably yad little to no knowledge about. The piece was definitely straight to the point as far aa definitions and examples to get your point across clearly. You gave your position on which you think works better and why which you could have given stronger reasons to back up your position even more. Perhaps you could give two separate scenarios, one for each type of behavior development scheme, so that readers could really side with why you like the latter scheme more. Overall, great piece!
I feel like you focused to much in your description if classical vs operant conditioning. Although I appreciate the explanation, I feel like that aspect of your piece could’ve been shortened because it wasn’t necessary to include to much definition. Although I got an idea of hat your piece was about, because your intro was so long, it through me off a little when you began writing about daycare and children. I wasn’t expecting your piece to go in that direction. I feel like is you shorten the intro and focus more on your opinion of how patents should raise their children, you’ll be left with a much better criticism piece. You have good ideas and all you need to do is provide more of your opinions.
You pull this piece together with an opinion at the end, supported by some facts above, but I’d really like to see a fact that more directly supports your opinion; a statistic that shows which behavioral conditioning method works better.
As a psych minor, I can appreciate that you’ve talked about this, and the even textbook tone you use. I even agree that reward is the better motivator long term.
BTW as someone who’s worked with kids with special needs, I feel your pain.
I think this is a pretty good informative piece about classical conditioning and operant conditioning. I agree with Vanessa about this piece sounding more like a research paper than a prose writing. I think you can improve this piece by making it more personal, perhaps add another paragraph, to the daycare one, where the narrator experience classical conditioning and operant conditioning.
This piece was quite informative. This is why it almost blurred the lines between memoir and Non-fiction.
Thus, I think to strengthen the piece, anecdotes or analogical references might clearly place your piece on Behaviorism in children.
This piece was very interesting. I believe the author’s point was to convey how humans behave in response to external stimulus. This was a very good read for a first draft and needs minute changes and additions. The author thinks that this piece will inform her audience about a fragment of the human psyche. She wants the reader to feel like he/she has been educated after the read.
Behaviorism
Voice: The voice of your piece seems to be positive and enforcing good child behavior. The information you give is about child behavior. In order to make your piece stronger you should add information about the effect in adulthood.
Layout:
“John Watson and Rayner conducted an experiment with a boy named Albert.” This quote is effective in your piece because it demonstrates your reliability of the theme you are writing about. When I read the information about the experiment I also had negative critics to what Rayner did to experiment.
The end of you piece if is very effective. “Therefore I believe that although both classical conditioning and operant conditioning are good when correlated with child behavior, operant works better.” I enjoyed your piece, keep up the good work.
This informative piece was interesting and you did a good job being very specific in describing classical and operant conditioning and it’s differences. Because the purpose for this particular work was to be a criticism, I wish you would’ve included more personal examples of operant conditioning and why you believe it works better the classical conditioning. I feel like you were very knowledgeable on the topic you chose to write about and I felt your essay flowed. Your conclusion could’ve been a lot stronger but overall your piece was well written.
I would like to know more about why the author prefers operant conditioning. I would like more examples from the writer’s life. I would like to know more about how behaviorism affects the writer’s life. I would like more examples of the two different conditioning. I would like more examples from the writer’s work.
This was a very interesting piece.
It would have been better if you introduced the notion of behaviorism in children earlier in the essay. It also would have been a good idea to cite sources for some of your explanations of terms. Your credibility is not hurt by that, but it would definitely support it. The day care example surely helped with credibility.
The confusing part about this was that it felt like an informative piece but then it shifted to slightly persuasive. If the intention was persuasive, then a little more development could have been done towards the end to solidify and back up your opinion.
why do i feel as this was a homework assignment for a psych class lol
you present fact after fact after fact, then your one experience then fact. this formula leaves your piece to be very boring and hard to read. The center idea of your piece should of been of your experience, since u conclude with that idea. Your intro makes it seem that its all about behaviorism
Behaviorism isn’t necessarily an interesting topic, but I believe that the examples used in the story make it more relatable. Parenting is always a tender subject to discuss about as there are nearly an infinite amount of ways to raise a child and everyone will give you a different answer on how to do it. If you want to suggest a certain one is better than another, use more evidence to support your claim.
It wasn’t clear that you were going to give your opinion on wether you rather classic conditioning or operant conditioning in relation to your experience in a daycare from the beginning of the piece. I wanted your purpose to be clearer, a more personal voice, and I wanted some more elaboration. The jump from idea to idea seemed to abrupt for this piece, which was probably because of the short length. I believe you can improve upon this piece by inserting more scene and personal connection towards the beginning to improve the narrative voice.
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