I am tired and exhausted. I do take my vitamins- the gummy and the chewy version- people have told me you should take your vitamins to make your immune system stronger. I definitely do take them, but that does not help. I don’t like to be sick, but I have no control over that. –Cough, cough-

Typing a paper and studying for finals and reading books, is not an easy task while being sick. While other people tell me drink a lot of juice, green tea, cranberry juice. I have tried that already! Nothing works I still keep getting sick. Others tell me that is because I am always occupied and don’t rest. I work 40 hrs. a week and take 6 college courses. I really don’t sleep. People tell me I should not work as much, but If I don’t who will pay my bills? With that said, I am tired, exhausted and sick. This asthma is not easy to control. –Cough, cough-

I have a headache and this sinus is too much to handle. I know I am not the only person that becomes sick during this season, but I hate this. – Cough, cough-

I have taken too much medicine and I just don’t get better. I want to be well again. What should I do? I guessed on one of my finals because I was coughing a lot. The feeling of not being able to breathe is horrible. Who could have imagined the importance of air would be so valuable to a human being.  Being able to breath properly without the need of an inhaler. To me what would be great is not being absent to none of my classes because of being sick. Waking up without having to take medicine again. I am so used to taking cold medicine that the taste doesn’t bother me anymore. Before the taste of taking the cold medicine was not bearable, but now I am used to the smell and taste. –Cough, cough-

I hate to be sick. My chest hurts all the time; I have a sore throat, my body is in pain. The night medicine makes me really sleepy. I want to sleep all the time. I have to make myself stay awake to do homework and to study. I don’t like to be sick. -cough, cough-

“Who is the God whom we should worship with the oblation?” – The Rig Veda

For what reason should we worship this God or so called deity? Just because someone tells us that a certain thing or person created the universe, this does not mean we should believe in that of what we are told. How can we believe something, which we cannot see? I am not trying to be a skeptical, but I consider myself a realistic. How can a human being allow their world to revolve around those values? The values, which they have to follow because their God said they should. Or matter of fact set their life based on some rules that they have been told that the so-called God has set up for them. The reward for following those rules will set a spot after they die. Indeed there are two hypothesis of how the world was created. Those two hypothesis do not apply to every person, everyone has their own opinion towards the beliefs of how life was created.

The first hypothesis involves religion. One of these beliefs is that there is a higher power. A higher power is something that is greater than humans. A greater power entails that should be consider as the creator of life. Something that is conceivable is that something greater created the world. Is impossible for a simple human being to have created the universe. Humans do not have such a super power to create the universe.  This so-called god is the Supreme Being that created the two footed and four-footed creatures. He is also the creator of the mountains, sky, earth, and the waters that exist in this world. Is he so marvelous for creating those things?

The second hypothesis of how the world was created has a scientific answer. Life began in the water.  The scientific answer seems to explain how the universe was created as well as the reason how humans exist. It all began with the big bang theory; this theory mentions that the life of human beings began with water. The sequence of life started with a combination of ammonia and methane and energy, next to amino acids, and then proteins, to DNA, and then to Nuclei, to cells, to Multi-cellular organism, to worms and sea weed, to fish, to reptiles to amphibians and then to what we have become now.  This complicated theory seems to explain how life began according to scientist. – I learned this in my astronomy class with my professor Michiau Kaku he is a brilliant man-

Some people believe that is right to praise the creator of life. If following the first hypothesis were true, we should worship the so-called God. But what happens if we see it in another perspective and believe that there is no creator and things just happened. The scientific hypothesis seemed to explain a theory of how life was created. This theory seems to be more believable since scientists have to use facts to prove their hypothesis. To me the scientific hypothesis seems more realistic; the facts seemed to proof their point.

“People tend to believe in some kind of creator because they have been raised to do so. Throughout life people will learn new ideas and become convinced by them, but will fall back to those believes. This is similar to what I have experienced. I was raised a catholic, but learning new ideas, I became convinced about the creation of life. Some information made me change my mind of the origins of life, but I will always fall back to the belief I grew up with”

So if a human being believes in the science theory, such as some people do. Does this mean we have to praise the big bang? Does an individual who believes in Gods or a deity, how are they convince of whom they should worship? Who is the Supreme Being? These type of questions stay in my mind because we cannot say we believe in a god without thinking or asking to ourselves who is god? And why did he create mankind?

I don’t like to be absent from school or from work. I become paranoid of missing something important in class. Even though I am sick I still go to school or to work. I have been battling a cold for the passed three weeks. I have finished a bottle of Dayquil, Nightquil, and Tylenol for severe cold. But guess what I am still sick. Coughing a lot in class is disturbing for me and I bet for my classmates. On Monday was the worst attack of this cold. Having a cold and asthma is not a good combo. Having trouble to breathe is difficult to deal with. I wanted to come to class on Monday, but my fiancé convince me to stay in bed. He said, “how would you go to school after vomiting, fever, and coughing all night.” I told him I was still going to school, but he insisted me to stay because I will be disturbing all my classmates. I remember that three years ago I went through the same thing the worst cold of the winter.  I tried getting ready for school, but I was too weak to get up. I gave in and decided to stay home in bed. I was covered with my comforter sleeping the entire day. I just hope I get better.

I would consider myself a prune because I would always organize everything in my life. I would never do anything that was not on my list or in my planner. My friends and family would ask me to do things but I will always say no. My friends would ask me randomly if I would like to go out with them to dinner or something that they planned spontaneously. That day was no exception to them. It was December 15

My response would always be the same. “I can’t I have home work to do tonight.”

Melissa, My best friend: “ alicia come on its only one day.”

Me: “Melissa you know I can’t, I planned to read the Five chapters of Dorian

grey for hw”

Melissa: “just move things in your schedule”

Me: “I cant, I am sorry”

Melissa: “okay, bye”

This would be one of the many incidents that happened with my friends and Elizur, my Fiancé, was no exception. He called me not long after. I was frustrated because people didn’t understand my predicament. If something was to be moved from my schedule to another day I would have an overload of homework.

Me: “I have homework, tonight”

Elizur: “you always have homework, you can’t just do it another day”

Me: “ely you know that I can’t do it, if I do I will have too much homework. I

am not like you that does not get a lot of homework”

Elizur: “you can’t make an exception with me. Lets go out to dinner, or out

clubbing.”

Me: “no means no, if you want I can check my schedule and make some time

for you.”

Elizur: “I hate when you do that. You are always planning things.”

Me: “I can’t help it. I have room for you next week on Saturday.”

This would be our typical argument. Especially the topic of the future, he would ask me when would we get married or when would we have children or move in together. I am not afraid of commitment I just have to be prepared ahead of time. I don’t like surprises.

Elizur: “ when should we set the date? To send out the save the date.”

Me: “ ely setting the date now is too early.”

Elizur: “if its too early to do that, tell me when would you like to get

married?”

Me: “ maybe 2015”

Ely: “ that is too far from now”

Me: “it will be enough time to plan, okay.”

Elizur: “I thought being together for six years would be enough time. What about having children?”

Me: “ely I have told you many times, I am not ready”

Elizur: “ali no one is ready to have children, people take it as it comes.”

Me: “no means no, I am busy. Bye.”

Those were the conversation I would usually have with people. My mentality would not change; I would not allow anyone to change my schedule. I like to have a routine, to be consistent. I would consider myself a prune because I would never make any exceptions in my schedule, I would constantly plan something in order not to have any surprises.  I always had a plan. Until later that day Nancy, my sister, called me. She called me on December 15, 2012 at 8:00pm. I remember the exact moment because that is the time I turn on the tv to watch the big bang theory.

Nancy: “hey alicia, what are you doing?”

Me: “ just turned on the tv, watching the big bang theory. What about you?”

Nancy: “ I wanted to ask you, what are you going to do tomorrow?”

Me: “why”

Nancy: “for no reason just asking.”

Me: “Nancy there is a reason for every question, if there was no reason you

wouldn’t be asking a question in the first place.”

Nancy: “ come on, just tell me do you work tomorrow?”

Me:” yeah I do. Why?”

Nancy: “okay, forget it bye”

I was confused as to why she would call me to ask me a question and then hung up the phone. In that moment my mother called me.

Me: “ hello, mom what’s going on why did Nancy call me like that and just

hung up on me.”

Mom: “Alicia she didn’t want to bother you, but it’s time”

I was surprised of the news my mother had told me. While I was getting ready to go pick up my sister to take her to the hospital, I was overwhelmed with feelings. Deep inside of me I didn’t want to go. I kept thinking this was not plan. I have a set schedule. I had to drag myself in to doing something I was not used to. I felt my body shaking while I was getting dressed. I felt as if I was out of breath. I felt that way on my way to pick her up and on the way to the hospital. At the same time I felt uncomfortable because what I was experiencing at that moment was not normal to me. I felt as if I was in a movie theater watching a movie, everything was moving too fast.

Who would have imagined that labor could last 12 hours? I heard about it, but never thought I would actually experience that. The entire time I was with Nancy and Rafa, her boyfriend, I kept looking at the time. The time on the big round clock on the white wall, time moved so slow. I grew impatient to find out what the baby would be. But the baby was not ready to be greeted. I kept looking at that clock every moment to know the time.

Until it was morning at 9:00am I was impatient, tired, and frustrated because I stood awake the whole night waiting to greet the baby. I was frustrated because I had to leave by 9:40am to go to work. I tend to plan any moment in my life, this moment was something I did not have any control. I was sad because I was going to leave soon, not being there for Nancy to support her. The doctor came in the room, greeted everyone and walked towards Nancy to speak to her about the baby. The doctor look so calm, I wonder how can she do her job and still smile. Even though all the labors that she has experience that could last up to 12 hours or more and deal with the frustrating mothers. I admire the patience that she must have in order to deal with the screaming mothers in labor. She told my sister it was time that the baby had to be delivered now or she would have to start doing a c section. Something my sister did not want, she planned to have a natural labor. When I heard that the baby would come, I became overwhelmed with feelings because I would be there to see the baby.

The moment when the doctor told Nancy that she would have to breath in and push that way they baby could come out. I saw Nancy’s face, she looked exhausted and tired, but she looked determined. At first I believed I was strong enough to see my sister give birth until she started pushing and then I started to feel uncomfortable. And then pushed back to not see how the baby would be born. Until one of the nurses saw me and said where are you going? Just grab her leg and assist us. I did as the nurse asked and I tried not to look. But while I tried not to look I guess I was not holding her leg right because the nurse said “look at me and keep her leg in this place.” I moved the leg, but when I did I could not look away, but just look at my sister and when I did, that is when it happen. My sister was pushing and I saw the baby’s head come out and then the body. The labor that people see on television is nothing compared to a real life situation. I can admit I was traumatized, disgusted, and happy. The baby cried and was filled with mucus and blood. The time she was born was 9:29am. I was making sure I had the correct time. The nurse took the baby away to get her clean and ready. When the nurse was done she brought back the baby and gave the baby to Nancy she carried her for 10 min after that Rafa was holding the baby for 10 minutes.  My turn came up; I was so scared because she was so small and vulnerable. I was holding her for one minute or less and then I felt in love. Not only that but I felt a warm feeling in my chest and then my legs. I was not sure what I was feeling, I then touched my legs and guess what? She greeted me by peeing on me. We all laugh that the baby peed on me!  I was holding her for less than 5 minutes and then the nurse said it was time for them to take her away to get a checkup and shots. I was saddened because I wanted to keep holding her. While I was carrying her I was filled with emotions I never felt before. I felt in love, I wanted to be with her and protect her.  At that moment I check the time and I had to leave to go to work, I was late.

The time I left was 10:00am I said bye to everyone and left. At that moment on the ride to work I thought about what had happened earlier. I was tired and happy. When I was holding the baby I was filled with beautiful emotions. I wanted to stay with her. I now understand why my sister decided to keep such a precious gift.  She was willing to accept the baby without a plan, something opposite from my mentality. She was willing to accept what came to her in life.  This is when I stop trying to plan every single moment in my life. Because of her, I now make exceptions.