We lack a desire to hurt one another until generally motivated by some perceived slight or a strong enough desire to achieve or acquire something else. Our instinct holds us in place, preventing us from hurting one of our own species, especially someone from our own “pack” or family. Yet, when we feel comfortable enough with the people around us, we relieve our venom onto them because we know they will not abandon us. We take this dark action toward our loved ones because we fear Abandonment and Rejection. I write them with capital letters at the beginnings because they are our great evils; the human existence is beholden to a base question, “Are you there for me?” This whole matter is a constant source of upset for me on multiple levels, a surprising complex of contradictions, and at heart, prevents us from being honest and able to handle honesty.
The amygdala is an actual part of the brain that essentially constantly asks “are you there for me?” It is a mammalian group of nuclei; a thing in the brain evolved to make us rely on one another for the better survival of the species. How many times have I bitterly wished this was not the case… It creates fear of rejection, the ultimate enemy of mammals everywhere, and even the slightest hint of rejection from our parents at youth can spoil us; make us rotten and ruined. I first really learned about it in a relationship counseling class I took. I was not in a relationship at the time, but because I felt I had made too many mistakes in previous relationships, and wanted to prevent these mistakes from happening again, I took this course to better myself.
Among the things discussed in the class, insecurity was a great focus. Insecurity of self stems from insecurity with parents and people close to us. We are intrinsically tied to others. Our ego, no matter how much we indulge it, therefore, is not simply our own. I learned about several “dances” that couples perform psychologically. For instance, Mary asks John to do the dishes, and John says yes, but does not do them. Hours go by and Mary eventually confronts her husband about this. She is angry at him, and yells at him about the dishes. John in response to her yelling, remains quiet, and when the argument is over he simply goes out for a while. Mary feels completely ignored by his lack of communication. She feels John doesn’t want to talk with her or care for her. John feels similarly; that Mary hates him so she yells at him, but he actually does care and he’s hurt, so he’s gone away to go lick his wounds. When Mary is asking John to do the dishes, she’s actually asking him “are you there for me?” When John goes out for a while and remains calm, it’s because he’s afraid to get upset at Mary and hurt her emotionally, so he retreats until he calms down, but to Mary this means “No, I’m not there for you.” Likewise Mary yelling at John means to him, that she is not there for him either. It may seem silly, but this is the source of most arguments in a relationship. To cope, this couple may begin to lie to each other to prevent further upsets, rather than engage in healthy and necessary introspection, as well as healthy confrontation.
The ego is such a fragile thing, and it makes us humans afraid to be honest with one another. We are afraid to damage someone else’s ego, mayhaps as much as we are afraid to have our own damaged. Consider this: A man is flirting, or attempting to flirt, with a woman. It starts out friendly, and she is unaware of the flirting until talking to him for about thirty seconds. She is made uncomfortable by the process, but rather than simply say she’s taken or that she is uncomfortable, or not interested, she instead keeps talking with him and throwing hints at him. These hints are designed to indicate disinterest, and may even be considered normal everyday hints that people should pick up on. The man, clueless, continues to flirt. She’s still talking to him and he takes this as a good sign. Innocently, he pushes forward, eventually getting to the point where he asks her if she’s single. She smiles wryly and shows him her ring. She’s engaged, then her fiance shows up, and the fiance happens to be an acquaintance of his. The man laughs about it, thinking the whole thing is funny, and he’s a little nervous too, so he apologizes. The couple acts like there’s nothing wrong, and thinking everything is okay, the man simply abandons the flirtation and acts politely towards them, not that he really wasn’t being polite in the first place.
Months later, the man finds out from someone that the woman he was flirting with complained about him. The man, seeing her fiance, attempts healthy confrontation. “Excuse me,” he says, “but I found out from someone that your fiance complained about me. I wasn’t given her name, but since she was the only one I hit on I know it must be her.” The fiance says “Yes, she was giving you all these hints. “You should’ve stopped.” The fiance further states that the place where the man was hitting on his fiance was not an appropriate place to hit on someone. Bear in mind, that the flirting occurred at a recreational event.
The man sees only conflict if he continues arguing his point. If “it is not a place to hit on people,” then no place is. People are at a bar to drink, not be hit on. People are on a subway, not to be hit on. People are at a club to dance, not be hit on. The list goes on indefinitely. The logic is disturbingly incorrect. The whole thing is a mess.
Healthy confrontation would involve the woman in the scenario firmly stating that she is not interested. If the man persisted beyond that, then he would be at fault; however, not being able to recognize “hints,” while being a personal flaw of his, does not actually make him wrong in the situation. No means no, and this is true, but using hints when what is intended to be said is “no,” is going to lead to confusion. This experience was a personal one, and I continue to feel frustration at this issue to this day.
There is not only a disturbing lack of empathy in this country, but a vast inability to communicate directly with or without fear of hurting someone’s feelings. The backwards actions can lead to drama and serious repercussions, when all that could’ve been said, all that should’ve been said, in any situation, was the truth. A person is not responsible for someone else’s inability to handle the truth, only for their own expression of the truth. To assume such a responsibility, is to consider the other person a child; a being incapable of being responsible for their thoughts, emotions, and self. It is a great insult. Furthermore, to then complain about a “child” that a person assumed such responsibility for, is tantamount to a parent complaining to someone uninvolved in the situation about their child, and expecting them to take responsibility. The shirking of responsibility, the response to perceive threats of the ego, and the lack of recognition of our responsibility for our own communication combine to create a dangerous ocean of treachery. We are all sharks swimming in our collective waters.
I really enjoyed reading this piece because it was organized in an academic manner, which allowed the reader to follow the piece easily. The voice of the narrator was informative, but also humorous because in the second paragraph the narrator adds a comment about his own personal life in the narrative and also the example of the man who flirts with a engaged female, which alleviated the seriousness of the subject The speaker reveals himself to the audience someone knowledgeable about the topic being discuss because he specifically talks about the physiological and the psychological sources of “abandonment.”
I really enjoyed how the piece began by defining the idea of “abandonment” based on the writer’s personal opinions, but then give scientific data to support his claim. I thought this was a well-executed literary device that established a trusting relationship with the reader. Also, the narrator does a great job of explaining why individuals have a tendency to hurt people once they have become comfortable with them by employing various examples that gives the reader two different perspectives that explains the same idea. I would suggest that the narrator describe the female’s fiancé in greater detail because it would illustrate the consequences of someone’s insecurities.
Good story, great ending.
A few semesters ago I had to read a textbook for my World Civilizations 102 class. It was called “Worlds Together, Worlds Apart.”
Plainly stated, there is a part of us that wants to be together and there is a part of us that wants to break free from the rest of the collective.
That’s all this piece is about. Summed it up in a few lines.
The author wrote this because the author is an intelligent being who wanted to flicker some gleam off his mantle of intellect. He wants the audience to know what kind of people we actually are.
I agree with this statement, “We lack a desire to hurt one another until generally motivated by some perceived slight or a strong enough desire to achieve or acquire something else.” Individuals always seem to lose confidence and begin to hurt others until they feel accomplished about something. You piece was humorous when you began to talk about the man flirting with the woman and how the man doesn’t pick up on the cues of disinterest. The title seems relevant as the ego is the human critical condition. “so he retreats until he calms down, but to Mary this means “No, I’m not there for you.” If John told Mary that he is stepping out because he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings would it still give the idea that john isn’t there for Mary?
You should know:
fiance- male
fiancee – female
I feel like the scenario was initially a general one and suddenly it became so specific where the parenthetical information about the LiveAction RolePlay was provided. Then there was a side rant about it being illogical with all the places that you can’t hit on people in. I think you went more specific than you really should have with that; it might have just been fine if you left it at, “The man sees only conflict if he continues arguing his point.” To me, not only did the side rant further reveal that the scenario was personal to the writer, but it also drew away from the original point which I had actually forgotten about by then.
Original point, I’m assuming is the “Are you there for me?” question, mainly supported by the argument that people lack the ability to be honest in order to not hurt other’s feelings unless pressured to do so otherwise. I lost this point a few times in the middle of this piece. Like where you talk about insecurity. And then your ego. That’s fine and all to do, but bring these back to support your main point, like topic sentences to a thesis does.
This sentence: “There is not only a disturbing lack of empathy in this country, but a vast inability to communicate directly with or without fear of hurting someone’s feelings.” Is it not contradicting itself? Maybe I’m wrong, but is empathy not the ability to understand and share the feelings of another being? If you fear hurting someone else’s feelings, then surely you must have empathy. I think I get what you meant, but you need to check your word choice again.
I did enjoy your take on brutal honesty. Maybe bring cognitive dissonance into the equation. There needs to be more supporting points. Flesh your point out some more. What does “Are you there for me?” really mean at the core? Interesting title.
I agree that people shy away from conflict. So much so that they refuse to have healthy conversations that can lead to a learning situation for either party. In your example of the man going to see the fiancé, shows how a man is trying to learn what he did to get the woman to complain about him. But because both men have different opinions they are afraid to engage into a deep discussion; because of fear of making the situation confrontational.
The examples you provide give solid explanations for your argument. Your opinion is stated clearly and you apply that opinion to multiple scenarios. the scenes you provide could be clearer. I would suggest condensing them so that the reader has a clearer understanding of the concepts. Use exhibition to set up the point of the scene and use the scene to hammer in your message. I know that your opinion is backed by some scientific evidence, so give us a reference. A solid reference gives you more credence and places your essay in a realm of established studies as oppose to the reader believing this is purely speculation, observation a experience .
Good job.
Your piece offered a lot of information that leaves a lasting effect on the reader in multiple ways. The trouble I have with reading this is focusing on your main point. Despite that, I liked it overall. It was structured really well. This piece is sophisticated and the author seems to be very insightful.
Nice thoughtful piece. I found this piece to be very analytical and insightful on communicating truth to people and receiving those truths with emotional control. This is a problem that I’ve recently ran into. Being “real” with someone can get out of control because not every person has the emotional capability to handle the raw truth. The piece is a bit confusing in some areas also, like for example the parent/child concept. Clarity these areas so readers can understand the main ideas in this piece. I feel that this is an important topic and I liked the example you used with the couple. How do you tell someone the truth without getting that person to become affected emotionally. I feel like the majority of the time it isn’t the content of the message that is problematic, but the delivery of the message itself which can have an effect on how the message is being interpreted. great job!
I thought that you had interesting topics, inbuilt fear of rejection, miscommunication, ego. I think you need to focus a bit more. I wasn’t quite sure what I was supposed to get out of this piece. I think you should also define the way that your using “ego,” I didn’t get how ego had anything to do with your examples. You seem to be using it to mean self confidence at some points and in other points you seem to want to refer to it from a Freudian view point, but it doesn’t work if you keep switching around. I thought it was interesting that you mention a lack of empathy in this country, when you show very little empathy for the other person in your example with the “gamer girl.” Why were you in couple’s therapy when you were single? Good first draft, try to focus on your main point more.
Very informative piece. I like your description of the amygdala, it almost felt like I was in psych class and the professor was telling me what it was. I also like how you began your piece with “We lack a desire to hurt one another until generally motivated by some perceived slight or a strong enough desire to achieve or acquire something else.” this is so true. I also like that you come back to this point when you begin to explain that people hurt one another once it becomes enjoyable. Good explanations .
this piece if all based on your opinion, and i enjoyed reading what you believe human being’s biggest flaw is: our insecurity. You make a great persuasive argument and your intelligence is clearly shown with the use of metaphors in your conclusion-which was a great addition.
since this piece is opinion when you introduce science such as the amygdala
“The amygdala is an actual part of the brain that essentially constantly asks “are you there for me?” It is a mammalian group of nuclei; a thing in the brain evolved to make us rely on one another for the better survival of the species”
this line makes the reader question if your credible enough to say such things.
when you make broad assumptions on a sensitive subject such as what you believe is the human experience, you have to be careful of the line between lecturing and just telling us what you believe. When you mention the amygdala it makes me reject your argument entirely because i believe you lack credibility or have shown the lack of creditability for me to believe it. so you should stick to your opinion, since its a strong persuasive argument anyway.
also this line Good and evil are but mere concepts, but the human existence is beholden to a base question, “Are you there for me?”
i felt it was a darling and a bit too wordy. it could be simplified without sacrificing much.. aesthetic? idk what the word is.
I do not like the way the writer suggests treating our loved ones. I like that the writer holds honesty in such high esteem. I do not think the writer should include the amygdala in his paper. I do not think the writer takes enough responsibility for his own condition. I do not think he should include the relationship counseling group in his paper.
I really enjoyed the informative knacks of this piece.
It addresses aspects of human nature that are apparent in our everyday lives but ignored.
However, I believe better examples could have been used to support your points. Maybe more concise, generalized examples would help, so as not to completely lose your reader.
Overall though, great piece.
I loved this piece. I think you picked one of the most relevant topics of anyone in this class. Arguably, THE most relevant topic we have discussed- honesty. I notice that since you have written this piece, our classmates responses to other peoples works have been much longer and critical. People are actually flat out saying they did not like x, y and z about a piece. If you look at a lot of the feedback from before, there were a lot more empty “I liked your story” commentary. I think you really got people thinking with this one. Excellent job.
I particularly liked this section: “actions can lead to drama and serious repercussions, when all that could’ve been said, all that should’ve been said, in any situation, was the truth. A person is not responsible for someone else’s inability to handle the truth, only for their own expression of the truth. To assume such a responsibility, is to consider the other person a child; a being incapable of being responsible for their thoughts, emotions, and self. It is a great insult. ”
^As established from my “My Favorite Cousin is Arrested” entry, I was not forthright with my cousin about my dislike for his lifestyle. I realized that I was holding back because I did not think he could handle it. I like how you explained that I am actually insulting him by holding back the truth as I perceive it. You actually played a big role in inspiring me to write about my cousin as opposed to my friend’s death for my second entry. I suppose no greater flattery can be made.
Great job with this essay, great topic and excellently articulated.
I had to reread this piece a couple times, I liked how it started off as a research paper, and the author does a good job at organizing the essay in that matter. However some of the proivded examples through me off. I think it would help by only providing one scene when discussing a human’s ego.
Overall, it was good, but some examples felt a little out of place and rather difficult to relate to.
The final example would have been better if it was supported by an alternate example of how things would have gone if the fiance was honest from the beginning. The woman would flat out say that she was engaged and the man would feel that she was rude and he would go to the friend/coworker and to say to him that the woman was a bitch. That bitch that he referred to was the fiance of the friend. People are never truly satisfied when either lied to or being honest with.
The human critical condition
I like that you added two different points of view of what is “truth.” The truth from family and the truth from friends is demonstrated differently in the piece. I do agree that family members tend to be brutal in admitting the truth while friends tend to hide the truth. With that said I would have to add that the example you gave was not something that enforced what you were trying to portray in your piece. I would like to see an example in both cases truth from a family member and a friend. A dialogue would be great in order to imagine the scenario. I would suggest you explain why you are in favor of one side and what truth you prefer rather than the other. Overall I enjoy your use of language in your piece.
It’s true, people should say what they really mean. I agree that it’s a problem that people are so afraid of telling people the truth as to not hurt their feelings, but that still doesn’t justify someone dense enough to not take hints. As people should practice being honest with each other, they should also consider the ability to read body language a valuable skill. While I like the examples in your story, I also think they’re way too long. Summarize them. Your point could come across more clearly. It’s an interesting topic to discuss and I think you did a good job articulating your thoughts on such a complex subject.
You established your credibility in the beginning, when you mention that you took a relationship class. Therefore, when you backed up your explanations with details about the brain – it worked well for your piece. I liked your example of talking to a woman at the bar (which seemed to be a separate rant of some kind). I wanted you to make this more personal, and explicitly connect it to your main idea- which means describing how you felt after the rejection, etc. Overall your piece was very relatable, with a strong narrative voice!
Estos tratamientos facilitan la dilatación de las arterias, por lo tanto, aumentan la entrada de sangre al pene y facilitan la erección.
Del mismo modo, el estrés y las inquietudes relacionadas con la salud mental pueden provocar disfunción eréctil o empeorarla. Siga todas las instrucciones en la etiqueta de su prescripción. https://veggiehunter.com/groups/disfuncion-erectil-tratamiento-medico/
I was just telling my friend about that.
I didn’t know that.
Wonderful views on that!
I was just telling my friend about that.
Hi there! Quick question that’s totally off topic.
Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?
My weblog looks weird when browsing from my apple iphone. I’m
trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able
to correct this issue. If you have any suggestions, please share.
Thank you!
My family members every time say that I am wasting my time here at web, however I know I
am getting experience all the time by reading thes nice articles.
Thanks for finally talking about > The Human Critical Condition | Prose Workshop < Liked it!
I’ve been browsing online more than 3 hours today, yet
I never found any interesting article like yours.
It is pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if
all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did,
the internet will be much more useful than ever before.
Great post. I used to be checking constantly this weblog and I am impressed!
Extremely helpful info specifically the remaining phase 🙂 I maintain such information much.
I used to be looking for this particular info for a long time.
Thanks and best of luck.
If some one needs expert view regarding blogging after
that i propose him/her to pay a visit this webpage, Keep up the fastidious work.
It is in point of fact a great and useful piece of information. I’m happy that you simply shared this helpful information with
us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
I could not refrain from commenting. Well written!
A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment.
I believe that you should publish more on this subject, it might not be a taboo matter but generally folks don’t talk about such subjects.
To the next! Many thanks!!
each time i used to read smaller content which also clear their motive,
and that is also happening with this article which
I am reading here.
What’s up, I want to subscribe for this blog to obtain newest updates, so where can i
do it please help out.
Hi it’s me, I am also visiting this web page daily,
this web site is in fact pleasant and the visitors are genuinely sharing pleasant thoughts.
Thankfulness to my father who shared with me about this blog, this
weblog is really remarkable.
This is a topic which is close to my heart… Thank you!
Where are your contact details though?
I’ve learn a few just right stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting.
I wonder how a lot effort you put to make one of these great informative web site.
Wow, this article is nice, my sister is analyzing these
things, so I am going to let know her.
I do trust all the ideas you have introduced for your
post. They are very convincing and can certainly work.
Still, the posts are very quick for novices. Could you please extend them a bit from next time?
Thanks for the post.
I’m more than happy to uncover this page. I wanted to thank you
for ones time just for this fantastic read!! I definitely appreciated every bit of it and I have you saved as a favorite to check out
new stuff in your site.
Attractive component of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to
say that I get in fact enjoyed account your weblog posts. Anyway
I will be subscribing in your augment or even I achievement you get admission to constantly rapidly.
You really make it appear really easy with your presentation however I to find this matter to be actually
one thing which I feel I would never understand.
It kind of feels too complex and extremely vast
for me. I’m taking a look forward for your subsequent post, I’ll try to get the hold of it!
Hi there, after reading this amazing article i am also delighted to share my familiarity here
with mates.
It’s perfect time to make a few plans for the future and it is time to be happy.
I have read this put up and if I may I desire to counsel
you few attention-grabbing issues or advice. Perhaps you can write next
articles regarding this article. I wish to learn more issues
about it!
Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to
say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
In any case I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write
again very soon!
Hi there to every , since I am in fact keen of reading
this web site’s post to be updated on a regular basis.
It contains nice information.
Hello there, I discovered your web site by means of Google
whilst looking for a related subject, your website came up,
it appears good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
Hello there, just was aware of your weblog through Google, and found that it is truly informative.
I’m gonna be careful for brussels. I will be grateful in case you proceed this in future.
A lot of folks might be benefited out of your writing.
Cheers!
I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your sites really nice,
keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your
site to come back later. Cheers
You’re so awesome! I don’t believe I have read anything like that before.
So good to discover another person with original thoughts
on this subject. Seriously.. thank you for starting this up.
This website is one thing that is needed on the web, someone with a bit of originality!
I used to be suggested this web site through my cousin. I
am no longer sure whether this publish is written by way of him as no one else realize such targeted approximately my
difficulty. You are wonderful! Thanks!
Howdy would you mind letting me know which hosting company you’re using?
I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different web browsers and I
must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good web
hosting provider at a reasonable price? Many thanks, I appreciate it!
What’s Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this
I have discovered It absolutely useful and it has aided me
out loads. I’m hoping to give a contribution & aid other customers like its helped me.
Great job.
I like the helpful info you provide in your articles.
I will bookmark your blog and check again here frequently.
I am quite sure I will learn many new stuff right here!
Good luck for the next!
Howdy! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog.
Is it hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick.
I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to start.
Do you have any points or suggestions? Many thanks
Hello There. I discovered your weblog using msn. That
is a very smartly written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your
useful information. Thanks for the post. I will definitely comeback.
What’s up to every one, the contents existing
at this site are truly awesome for people experience, well, keep up the good
work fellows.
hello there and thank you for your information – I’ve certainly picked up anything new from right here.
I did however expertise several technical
points using this website, since I experienced to reload the web site many times previous
to I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK?
Not that I’m complaining, but slow loading instances times will very frequently affect your placement in google and could damage your high-quality score
if advertising and marketing with Adwords. Well I’m adding this RSS to my email and could look out for
a lot more of your respective exciting content. Make sure you update this again very
soon.
That’s very good point
Why is it I always really feel like you do?
Definitely believe that which you stated. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the internet the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while people think about worries that they just do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks|
This post is really a fastidious one it helps new net people, who are wishing in favor of blogging.|
Having read this I thought it was very informative. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this content together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worthwhile!|
With havin so much content do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright violation? My website has a lot of unique content I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my permission. Do you know any ways to help reduce content from being ripped off? I’d genuinely appreciate it.|
I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.|
Hello there, I discovered your website by way of Google even as looking for a comparable subject, your web site came up, it looks great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
Fantastic forum posts. Appreciate it.
https://uscasinoguides.com/reddog-review/